Today, I extended a helping hand to someone I thought may need some help.

Keywords: may, help

But the person just brushed it off with sarcasm and retorted that he didn’t need any help. And at that moment I just felt so stupid. Like I went out of my way and really stepped onto someone else’s path where he didn’t want me to step on.

Things like this really affect me a lot, and for the past few hours it has been all I could think of.

Do I feel the need to be liked by everyone?

I think I used to heavily rely on others’ opinion of me. If I found out that someone didn’t like me, I would obsess over that thought for a long long time. But today, my thoughts centered on how I could come to terms with not being liked. Okay, it’s not as if this person hates me just because I offered him some help. He just didn’t see the need for me to offer help and thought of my offer as ridiculous, which in turn made me feel ridiculous.

But I realised that I just had to do what I thought was the right thing to do, which was to offer help and support to others. And it was up to him to accept or be appreciative of that help offered. He may not, but that’s not something I can control. What matters is that I stay true to my heart.

I also thought about how hard it was for someone to say they need help in today’s society. This person I offered help to may not be a good example, and probably didn’t need help at all, but what about others? Husbands who are the head of the household, bosses managing a unit or even a company, and people in the helping profession like doctors and nurses and social workers – people who according to society’s traditional roles should be the ones “offering help” and are seen as “strong” and “independent”. How would it reflect on a social worker if he/she seeks mental health treatment? I mean, we are supposed to be the ones helping others with their mental health issues right???

But then, like what we are taught, social workers have the ethical responsibility towards our clients, and this includes things like competency, values and respecting our clients. How do we help our clients if we ourselves are not fully well?? We might even end up bringing our own problems and emotions upon the client and affecting them. No matter how much we hone our craft, make sure our social work skills are top-notch, if we don’t have the capacity to care, we can’t care properly.

Social work aside, people in many other areas tend to neglect their emotional well-being. What results from that are people who end up burning out, tired from life’s burdens and expectations. So this stigma of seeking help needs to be gone! Especially that involving mental health issues, because people are always a step too late before realising that they NEED HELP.

Sigh, done ranting, back to do my readings.


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